So, their relationship is going very well. She calls you all the time just to tell you that she loves you. She texts you all day long just to let you know she’s thinking of you with one of those rather cheesy “someone cares about you” messages that has obviously been forwarded thousands of times around the world. But what is that? Suddenly you haven’t heard from her in the last two days? Are you thinking, “my girlfriend just disappeared?”
Let me first say that you are definitely not alone in your thoughts. At any time, you can search the internet and find countless guys asking the same type of questions on popular relationship forums and answers websites like Yahoo Answers. Whenever something happens in a relationship that seems completely out of the ordinary, like your girlfriend disappears from your daily life, people tend to wonder what’s going on. But did she really disappear? Or, could she be getting ahead of herself?
The first thing to keep in mind is that just because your girlfriend hasn’t contacted you in a day or two (or even more) doesn’t necessarily mean there’s reason to panic, even if you’re completely out of character. normal. It could be nothing at all. Or it could be that she is simply busy with some obligation of her own. Maybe something has happened, like the death of a relative, for example, and she just hasn’t felt like talking to anyone right now. It could be any number of perfectly harmless reasons (as far as your relationship is concerned) why your girlfriend seems to have disappeared right now.
If she’s the one who usually calls or texts first, then that alone could be the reason why you feel like something’s off when you suddenly don’t hear from her like you expected. That you have to be the one to make the effort to call seems unnatural to you. Why not break the pattern and contact her for a change? You don’t always have to “make it right” and wait for her to make the first move, you know.
Pick up the phone and call. If she doesn’t answer your call or text you back right away, don’t start rushing in, assuming something is up. The fact that she hasn’t responded right away could be reinforcing the idea that she is busy or has something out of the ordinary in her life that she has to deal with. It doesn’t have to mean that she is avoiding or ignoring you.
If you leave a voicemail or send a text, make sure you don’t overdo it. In other words, you shouldn’t dive right into the “where have you been?” or “what’s going on”. Even if his apparent disappearance has to do with you or your relationship, sending messages like this certainly won’t help you anyway. What a message like this does, however, is convey insecurity and despair to your girlfriend, both of which are generally perceived as unattractive traits. She might even get the feeling that you’re accusing her of doing something wrong by not responding right away every time you snap your fingers at her.
In your first voice mail or text message, you should say exactly what you would normally say if you didn’t sense something was wrong. For example, if you often greet her with some sort of “Hello” followed by the name of her favorite pet, keep it that simple. Then give him plenty of time to respond. And yes, a long time is more than five minutes or even half an hour.
After you have tried to make contact in a way that is typical of your own behavior and given ample time for her to get back to you, did she respond? If not, she may be wondering “is she avoiding me?” If so, my advice is that you should be careful when contacting your girlfriend further, especially to confront her about her absence. The best thing you can do is be very patient and wait for her to call. Give it a day (or three) at least.
However, if you feel like you need to contact her to ask what’s going on, frame your message lightly. Ask him if he’s okay instead of a blunt message like “why are you ignoring me?” Otherwise, you could turn a relatively simple situation into one of complications that are not so easy to fix, like the breakout scenario you were possibly already assuming was occurring.