Let’s be honest. Most people really don’t want to be cured. What they want is less pain and suffering.
What most people want is the “magic bullet”, the microwave method to alleviate their pain, their discomfort, their frustration – at work, at home, at play, in their relationships.
The truth is that while most people say they want to heal, intellectually and emotionally, their solution is the quick fix: the pill, the chemical or non-chemical (eg food, alcohol, television, sex, surgery .. .) quick solution to mask your discomfort and treat your symptoms.
Your drive for healing exists with pain; but the true option to act to heal is nonexistent. Once the discomfort is gone, it is back to “normal”, not healing.
For most people, true healing is scary and threatening. Why?
On the one hand, true healing requires asking ourselves two questions:
1. How do I contribute to my own discomfort? How am I responsible for the situation (mental, emotional, spiritual, psychological, social, financial, health, relational …) situation in which I find myself? Which of my thoughts, beliefs, preconceptions, values, assumptions, choices, and actions are responsible for the imbalance, disharmony, and unhappiness that I am experiencing in my life?
2. Am I willing to make the necessary changes and take steps to reduce and eliminate the imbalance, discord, and unhappiness that I am experiencing in my life at work, at home, at play, or in my relationship?
Simple, but not easy, which is why many people often think about change (simple) and rarely take positive, sustained action (not easy) to bring about true and real change.
So what is the real problem with healing? What gets in the way of most people’s will to change is the ego.
The ego is necessary. The ego supports us to interact with living our life on the planet. The ego is our personality, our individuality. It’s like a “suit” that we put on in the morning that helps us “be me” when I go out into the world. The ego helps us pretend we are individuals and the ego helps us remember where we put our wallets and what time the team meeting is.
Unfortunately, our egos also feel that their job is to keep us safe and protect us from harm, and in doing so, the glasses that the ego wears often view the world as scary and hurtful, so we spend much of our lives defending ourselves against harm. the rest. judging, being critical, being defensive, resentful, jealous, and resisting others in some way, shape, or form, all in an effort to avoid pain and suffering. The fear comes from the ego.
Our ego defines our thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, preconceptions. Just consider how many of our thoughts are “healing or loving” thoughts and how many are “killer, that is, fear-based, critical, negative” thoughts. The latter, most likely, for most people.
Our ego’s job is to feel safe and secure when it comes to changing our beliefs, thoughts, preconceptions, assumptions, etc. (of the ego). About our life and living in the world, our ego freaks out, freaks out, and subtly and insidiously tries to make sure that we continue to think, believe, and behave exactly as we have in the past. Change hurts us, according to our ego, and wants us to feel that it is acting on our behalf, to keep us safe, “without acting”, that is, without changing.
Our ego believes that even our most painful and limiting beliefs are necessary, because the small amount of pain we experience actually protects us from much greater pain: death in some way, shape, or form.
Often times when we consider a true and real change, we begin to feel that there is something “wrong” or “wrong” in our current thoughts or beliefs. This activates our ego and we spend a great deal of time punishing ourselves for thinking that we are in fact bad or wrong for what we have been thinking or believing.
The deal with true and real change is to allow our beliefs, our thoughts, whatever they are, simply by observing them, allowing them, and not judging them. This action quiets the ego and our Inner Judge and Critic who wants us to feel small, invisible, scared, wrong, and bad.
When our ego feels that there is nothing wrong with our thoughts or beliefs, we feel freedom and we have the opportunity to introduce new thoughts and beliefs and with these new thoughts and beliefs, we create the ability to make new decisions and take new actions.
The point to understand is that we create most of our limiting and painful beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world in childhood, using all the resources that we had at that time, so that we can feel safe, secure and obtain the love, the attention from mom and dad. approval, recognition and recognition.
Our beliefs worked then. They don’t work that well now. Therefore, they must be updated.
The bottom line is that we can change our words, our thoughts, and our beliefs. In fact, we can change our lives at work, at home, at play, and in relationships by creating new and supportive thoughts and beliefs as we choose to do so. So if you really want to heal, that decision is yours. What better time than now?
So some questions for self-reflection are:
What stories do you tell yourself that prevent you from making true and real changes in your career, home, games, or relationship areas of your life? What beliefs or blocks keep you from experiencing changes in your life? Do you remember any of these beliefs or blocks from when you were young?
Do you ever follow your intuition, your “instinct”? Do you trust your intuition?
Do you constantly hit yourself? Why? Would you allow your friends and colleagues to speak to you in the same way that your internal judge and critic speaks to you? Do you constantly judge yourself as “bad”, “wrong” or “not good enough” in some way? Why? Really why?
The average person has “16,000” thoughts a day. Would you characterize most of yours as “healers” (based on love) or “murderers” (based on fear)?
Have you ever just watched your thoughts without getting caught up in them or in a “story”? How is that?
What limiting or debilitating beliefs would you like to update right now? You can do it? Could you?
What one or two small steps can you take this week or next to make changes in your life by creating new thoughts and beliefs about yourself and then taking action?
What beliefs do you have about: career, teamwork, meaningful work, money, health, men, women, relationships, appearance, fun, chores, children, personal or spiritual growth, marriage, clothing, hair, pets, etc. ? Do these beliefs bring you true and real happiness (be honest) or pain and suffering (be equally honest)? If it is the latter, why do you continue to hold these beliefs and allow them to run your life? If it is the latter, how can you heal yourself?
