As adult women, we come to trust that experience matters in many aspects of our lives. We’ve dated, maybe married and then divorced, and we think we know what we’re doing when it comes to first dates and new relationships. But do we really do it?
We may no longer find men at frat parties and dance clubs, but in this age of internet dating and online relationships, ALL women, regardless of their age, need a new set of rules to stay safe.
Whether you’re a dating experience or a woman getting back into the game, we’ve got the tips you need to keep dating safe:
1) Know your date
- If possible, Google it before the date and verify as much information as you can. The Internet is a wonderful tool, but people can easily misrepresent themselves. If it’s worth a date, it’s worth Googling it.
- Try taking a picture of your license plate – One of our dating goddesses arranges to meet your date outside the front door of the bar or cafe, using her phone to take her license plate and sending it to a girlfriend’s phone.
2) have an escape plan
- Send a text message to a friend and tell him where you will be and what time approximately you will be home; Organize an emergency code word, but also let your friend know if you stay later than planned.
- Bring a few friends over to the bar to sit discreetly off to the side and be there if you might need a backup as you are feeling concerned about your date’s behavior.
- Meeting in a public (and crowded) place is always safer; it gives you the most security, the most opportunities to get out, and is the most likely to avoid an awkward situation if things don’t go well. Don’t rely on him for your transportation early in a relationship.
3) Limit the amount of information you give
- Download an anonymous texting app or use things like Google Voice or Vonage to block phone calls.
- Initiate all contact; have him give his number, always call or text you, not the other way around.
- Use a nickname and avoid using emails that may be connected to you. Make sure your email address and phone don’t post your full full name – block that feature on your mobile phone and use a secondary email plugin where you can sign in with your nickname.
- Beware: if you are a tech savvy, you can find it via its IP address! Be careful!
4) Trust your instincts and watch the signs.
- Be on the lookout for sudden, intense passion or aggressive sexual behavior that apparently doesn’t respond to anything you’ve said or done.
- Be on the lookout for “180 °” twists in personality, from kind and caring to accusing and suspicious of his every move.
- Be aware of aggressive language or actions, controlling behavior, threats, unfair accusations, or impulsiveness.
- Be on the lookout for nightly or repetitive phone calls, passing vehicles, or unannounced visits “at your workplace or home.
A new relationship or even a casual date can be exhilarating and exciting, but it’s critical to remember not to get caught up in the moment. No matter how much a man is recommended by a friend or how often he has chatted online, meeting face to face always means a certain level of vulnerability on his part. It’s not paranoid or suspicious to play it safe and make sure you have the best and most exciting dating experience possible. That being said, there are thousands of great loving men who are just looking and hoping to meet a great woman.
