You look at her. She looks back and smiles. Your heart starts pounding and you want to get closer to her… but maybe after a drink or two. You take a sip of your beer and decide to walk across the room first, just to see if she’s still interested. This continues for a few minutes. After a long time of awkward ogling and slacking off, the woman finally realizes that you are either incredibly anxious or not interested in her. After you worked up enough courage to approach her, she decided to dump you and go with her friend. What a disappointing night!
We all know that approaching a woman can be an anxiety-filled experience, although most men would never admit it. Dilated pupils, shallow breathing, and a racing heart are all symptoms that men feel just before approaching an attractive girl. These are all common features and can even be beneficial for getting that extra adrenaline rush just before starting a conversation. However, most men let anxiety build up to a crippling amount by refusing to get close and over-analyzing things. To combat this feeling of hesitation, the three-second rule was born.
The three second rule is a well-known technique used to overcome fear of approaching women. In this rule, you are supposed to approach a woman you are attracted to within three seconds from the time you see her. This approach is meant to cure men’s indecision and paralyzing over-analysis of the situation. It forces men to break free from their comfort zones and just do it.
The three second rule can be used as a teaching aid for the perfectionist, or for someone who wants to get the right conditions before approaching a girl. Almost always, the perfectionist never gets the conditions he wants and ends up not getting close at all. The three second rule snaps you out of his obsessive thinking and compels you to act. With the help of a mentor and the right cues from the woman, the three second rule can be very powerful. However, as good as the rule’s intent is, it does have some major drawbacks.
First of all, the rule doesn’t allow time for a man to pull himself together. He can feel an extreme sense of fear when he is forced to get close to a woman he is not ready to meet. This can end with him ruining the interaction by saying the wrong things in the moment. Although the rule helps those who continue to over-plan things, it doesn’t help much for those who need more time to cool down.
Second, the rule creates a sense of urgency. The man following him may end up feeling rushed, creating the sensation of being forced to interact against his will. This negative vibe can continue and ruin the interaction.
Finally, there are only a few cases where you cannot approach the woman within three seconds of seeing her. When she’s busy paying at the grocery store counter, for example, you may have to wait a while before you get the chance, even if you’ve already locked eyes.
Despite this, the three second rule is very effective when it comes to conquering your fear of approaching. If you’re extremely worried about the outcome of your approach, the three-second rule will almost certainly snap you out of that negative mindset by forcing you into as many interactions as possible. Eventually this will force him to experience rejection and lead him to the conclusion that they are not as bad as he thought they were. The three second rule is also commonly used with a friend to make a game of who has the most approaches (and receives the most rejections) in the least amount of time. If he does it to the best of his abilities, the three second rule will eliminate the fear of approach literally overnight.
Although not perfect, diving in as soon as possible when you see a beautiful woman can be extremely helpful in upping your game. Do it as often as possible. 1, 2, 3… GO!
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