There is nothing humorous in dealing with painful hemorrhoids. I needed an alternative to cope with the pain, itch, and embarrassment of this affliction. I was very stressed and that’s when I decided to stop crying and start laughing to regain my mental, emotional and physical health and I turned to the self-help treatment of laughter therapy. I scoured the web for hemorrhoid jokes to ease the pain a bit.
Granted, hemorrhoid humor is actually more fun if you don’t have hemorrhoids. When you hurt inside, being the butt of a joke about your grief is like adding insult to injury. Brilliant comedy writer Dave Barry relates that a person knows he’s “middle-aged” when the jokes about hemorrhoids stop being funny. However, for those who can really get some temporary relief from being the butt of a little hemorrhoid humor and laughing at what is causing them a ton of discomfort, here are some jokes I found on the web. I hope this “laughter therapy” makes you feel better.
Sticker #1: If you drive any closer to my butt, you’ll get hemorrhoids.
Sticker #2 – If you don’t have hemorrhoids, move.
Never confuse hemorrhoid cream with super glue.
· You will never find someone with hemorrhoids playing musical chairs.
· The first man walks into the big box store and the clerk says, “Welcome. You’ll find auto parts in aisle 9,” to which the surprised customer asks, “How the hell did you know I needed oil for my car?” The Greeter replies, “That’s my job.” The next guy walks in and the receptionist says, “Welcome, you can find sporting goods in aisle 15.” The second guy, also stunned, asks, “How do you know I came here looking for an exercise bike?” Greeter replies, “It’s what I do for a living.” Just then a lady walks in and this time the Greeter tells her: “Welcome! You’ll find tampons in aisle 6.” The woman gives him a surprised look and says, “I’m not looking for tampons, I came for a hemorrhoid cream,” and the Greeter says, “Damn! I only missed it by an inch!”
So what exactly is laughter therapy? Laughter truly is the best medicine, as the saying goes. Laughter therapy is like any other form of aerobic exercise; that’s why sometimes your stomach hurts after a good laugh.
When you laugh, your heart can beat up to 120 times per minute. Laughter is known to increase blood flow through the veins, blood pressure tends to drop, and the immune system is strengthened. One can get a complete workout of the diaphragm, abdominal, anal, and facial muscles.
Endorphins are released in the brain during a fit of laughter, which are the body’s natural equivalent of painkillers. Endorphins act like opiate drugs to numb pain. Therefore, laughing can be equated to taking morphine or opium, but with laughter, one does not have the adverse side effects of drugs.
Do children laugh more than 400 times a day, while adults laugh only about 15 times a day? Therefore, if laughter does so much good for our way of seeing life, why don’t we laugh more? In March 1995, a doctor in Bombay, India started the first chapter of Laughing Clubs International. In just one year, there were 80 clubs across India. There are other nations around the world that have followed suit, including several in the United States. Haven’t you heard, laughter is contagious?
Club members meet in the morning in a park before work. To get rid of internal inhibitions, they begin their session by repeating, like a mantra, ha-ha, ho-ho and raising their arms above their heads. They proceed to silently laugh with their mouths closed, followed by laughing with their mouths open without saying a word. Some clubs also combine jogging with laughter. Originally the sessions started with the telling of jokes, but this became obsolete after about 2 weeks when the amount of good jokes ran out and only silliness followed. It got ridiculous and exhausting.
Saying that they actually felt better starting their day this way and some members even found that they had lost weight as a result. Others find that they are no longer depressed. Another benefit is that going to the sessions helped them meet other people while getting them out of the house early in the morning.
Laughter is strong medicine, and while most drugs affect everyone differently, the effect of laughter is always positive. Laughter exercises every part of the body, causing the feeling of euphoria from the pain eliminated. If laughter is such good medicine, good for general health and can alleviate many ailments, including the pressure on pain caused by hemorrhoids, why don’t we spend more time laughing?