Rudeness has a trickle down effect and it all starts at home. Parents are role models, and what kids see and are taught early on is what we all get, and it’s not always pretty. Too many people, and not just young people, walk in front of each other without saying “Excuse me,” make requests without the “please” requirement, and let others join in their “private” conversations by talking loudly on their cell phones. You get the idea: we’re basically a rude bunch.
A Public Agenda poll found that “79% of Americans say disrespect and courtesy should be considered a serious national problem, while 62% say witnessing rude and disrespectful behavior bothers them a lot.” However, 41% admit to being part of the problem of bad manners.
Needless to say then: parents must take the initiative. Says journalist Cokie Roberts: “I think kids who have caring parents learn all sorts of behaviors from their parents. Everything from good table manners, which count, by the way, to how to be a good husband or wife. I think kids take their cues from their parents, even when they don’t realize they’re doing it Raise kids you like because if you don’t like them, no one else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life with them . .”
To set the stage for success, establish rapport with your children early and easily, make family time a priority, and get together at mealtimes and times in between, while modeling good manners and acceptable standards of behavior. . Include these reminders:
1. Never forget to say “Excuse me” when necessary.
2. Say “please” when placing orders or asking for a favor.
3. Always show gratitude by saying “thank you.”
4. Accept the opinions of others with kindness, agreeing to disagree if necessary.
5. Never make go-ahead comments about race, religion, or lifestyle.
6. Refrain from interrupting when someone is talking.
7. Return what was borrowed promptly and under the same conditions as when it was slow.
8. Don’t be pushy.
9. Pick up what you dirty.
10. Always leave a place better than when you found it.
11. Behave so that people are happy when you arrive, not when you leave, and that includes the home.
12. Always lend a helping hand and offer before being asked.
13. Exercise patience.
14. Share whenever possible and think of others, not just yourself.
15. Give up your seat on a train/bus to someone who needs it.
16. Run, don’t walk, to the morning school bus.
17. Open the doors to others.
18. Greet your friends at the door and walk them out.
Add the editors of Middle Years: “There is no reason to accept rudeness and disrespect. When your children behave in an unacceptable way, remind them that it is NOT okay.”
