Courts don’t like to make child custody orders. No matter how they rule, one member of the couple will be unhappy. For most parents, the thought of not seeing their children on a daily basis is a source of pain.
The courts are also aware that they could make a terribly wrong decision. A child can be injured or killed if inadvertently dropped into an abusive environment. There is nothing a judge can do at a final hearing to get all the information you need to make a perfect custody order.
Also, the training of a lawyer does not include much psychology. Lawyers attend seminars to find out the latest ideas about child custody. However, much of the child custody problem is based on facts, and the facts can be hard to come by when a warring couple tries to prove that they are Mary Poppins incarnate and that their ex is the spawn of the devil. Independent custody evaluators can take the time to gather important information about the child’s life.
Others rely on guardians ad litem, custody evaluators, or CASA to conduct an objective investigation into their child’s life. Some parents hire private psychologists to conduct independent evaluations. When they finish interviewing teachers, babysitters, coaches, friends and relatives, and studying school reports and medical and dental records, the evaluators present a report to the court. The judge usually reads the report and, unless there is something surprising and new at the final hearing, makes his or her conclusions part of the final decree.
Some judges are willing to hear personally what all the witnesses have to say. If your judge is unwilling to hire outside help to help you with the child custody issue, you will hear what all the witnesses have to say at the final hearing. She will seek information about the child and will not be happy with witnesses who deviate towards personal opinions.
If you call someone to the stand in a child custody case, it is best if they really know something objective about the child. It is not very interesting to the judge if all your friends and family think that you are a good parent. The judge assumes that your friends and family are like you and wants you to win. However, specific cases involving the child and the other parent may be helpful if they illustrate something about the child or parent involved to give the judge a clearer picture of the family dynamics.
If your grandmother takes the stand to say that her ex isn’t worth spending time with her own kids, she better have been there to observe an incident that proves her point. Otherwise, Grandma is only voting for you in a popularity contest and the judge will discard her opinion. She also won’t think much of you for taking her there to testify in the first place.
Judges are particular about the information they can consider in child custody cases. One of the main reasons they appoint evaluators is to reduce the hours they would need to hear all possible testimonies about the child’s life firsthand. Giving the evaluator the wrong impression could cost you time and money that you would rather not spend. Above all, however, you want to behave in a way that causes the evaluator, and eventually the judge, to conclude that you are a mature and responsible adult who can be trusted to care for your children.