The Pocket Parent Trainer: Your Two Week Guide to a Dramatically Improved Life with Your Intense Child [Soft Cover]
by Tina Feigal
112 pages, $ 19.95
ISBN-13: 978-1592982370
Non-fiction
Perhaps your experience of becoming a parent is like that shared by many others: It is a festive occasion where you contemplate the joyous experiences that are sure to come. Not long after your development as a parent, perhaps, you wished the children would come with an instruction manual. As our children grow and develop, we sometimes feel as if we are losing our minds trying to get children to fulfill our desire for peace and obedience at home. Today’s media-enhanced culture only seems to exacerbate the problem.
Tina Feigal, a licensed school psychologist, has written intriguing work on The Pocket Parent Trainer which addresses dealing with intense children. By definition, intense children are not just those with certain diseases, such as: ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, and the like. The author has developed what she calls “parenting in the present moment” and it would work for children of all types between the ages of 3 and 18.
According to the author, children with intense behaviors have overly active brains that seek to match energy levels with what they experience internally. Much of this search causes children to “act” inappropriately. The informed parent will militate against negative energy pairing and instead seek to “discharge” positive energy into children to validate their self-esteem while simultaneously spreading negativity. The method: review current parenting strategies by trying to “breed in the present.”
This brilliant book presents a two-week program to help parents deal with an intense child by eliminating power struggles or even directly targeting maladaptive behavior. Instead of punishing the crime, he has had a family meeting beforehand in which he informs the child that all he will say in the future is: “You broke a rule. Take a break.” The child has tried this method before and is able to associate with you as you try to redirect him to more positive behavior.
This book is highly recommended for parents who struggle with intense children. The examples presented seem to lend themselves more easily to parents of younger intense children. All parents can benefit from the extensive resource section filled with sign-in sheets to customize; daily reminders to use at home to encourage “parenting in the present moment”; and even a 60 minute audio CD where the author presents an appropriate summary as a question and answer session for parents.