Negative emotions often leave clues
I want you to close your eyes and think about a difficult experience that is affecting you right now. Before reading further, follow this simple step to get an idea of how the problem is bothering you. You can experience a variety of emotions and I invite you to welcome them. Don’t push them away because they are uncomfortable. Allow them to be there as unpleasant emotions can teach us something valuable if we are there for them. Okay, now open your eyes and let’s talk more about your problems. Fortunately, you are one of the billions of people on this earth who are lucky enough to experience challenges. Luck you say? Are you crazy Tony? How lucky am I to have problems? You are lucky because your challenges contain the seeds of opportunities that you have yet to discover.
Challenges contain tremendous growth and when we overcome them, we can never go back to our old way of life. They help us to recognize the infinite possibilities and expand our consciousness. When I asked you to contemplate a current problem before, you no doubt experienced the negative emotions associated with it? And you would be right to feel this way because, from where you are, the problem seems insurmountable. However, when you close the gap, it narrows down and you can see your challenges in a new light. You cannot perceive your problem with that mentality now because you have not obtained the necessary growth.
It’s easy to see how our challenges expose our weaknesses, but we should think of it differently: they also reveal our strengths. If we accept the emotions that arise, we can overcome our challenges more effectively. For example, I remember working with a young woman named Jennifer in a coaching capacity. Every time she experienced difficulties in her life, she would call me in a frenzy and explain how the situation was consuming her. One day during a coaching session, I invited her to face her challenges without allowing her anxiety, fear, and frustration to take over. I asked her to accept these feelings as they were trying to teach her something valuable. Previously, she wanted to get rid of them because they were not feeling well. And I understand that she would feel that way, however, negative emotions can show us where we should direct our attention.
The distance between the problem and the solution
This makes sense? Are you comfortable with the idea that negative emotions have a purpose and we shouldn’t feel powerless because of them? I advised Jennifer to be aware of her response and not to push the emotions away, as they were trying to teach her something important. Since she felt anxious and irritated every time, it meant that the problem was important to her. She requires changing our response to stay calm instead of reacting to what is happening. We should interact with our core emotions and work through problems instead of responding negatively. For example, if you ask someone close to you if the situation you are experiencing is a major problem, they might think otherwise. The reason you react is because you are very interested in the result. I’m not suggesting that this is harmful, I’m suggesting that you accept your feelings by changing your response to what it means.
People believe that problems expose their weaknesses because of the negative emotions that accompany them. If we experience fear, frustration, and anger, we may believe that we are unable to get over the experience due to the negativity involved. But they are signals that tell us that the problem is important to us, otherwise we would not be experiencing them. So, Welcome the negative emotions and process them to the best of your ability and then deal with the problem at hand.. You can do this? Can you give yourself the gift of looking at your problems from a new perspective instead of being mired in negativity? I assure you that you can overcome any obstacle that life throws at you. It is a matter of biting it piece by piece, chewing it well and digesting what is necessary.
You are not meant to bridge the gap between the problem and the solution in one fell swoop, otherwise you would be a genius. Problems and challenges arise because of the lessons and growth required for our life’s journey. They happen because the distance between the problem and the solution is where progress occurs. We cannot hasten growth more than we wish that a rose would grow faster by planting the seed. We must nourish it daily with: water, suitable soil and sunlight. And so it is with our challenges. Knowing this, I would like you to go back to your previous problem. Write down all the emotions you are experiencing on the left side of a piece of paper or journal. Next to each emotion, write what you think is the opposite of that emotion. For example, if you feel afraid, what is the opposite of fear for you? Is it: courage, faith, hope or patience? Once you have gone through the list, reflect on what these negative states invite you to know. Contemplate them first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Trust that your current situation is calling you to overcome your weaknesses to reveal your true strength of character.
