Stress is the silent predator of our modern society. It stalks us all off guard until one day, we collapse and the doctor says, “Take a vacation, heartache, you’re carrying too much stress.” A friend of mine thought he was having a heart attack, he had all the symptoms, but it turned out he was very stressed and didn’t know …
Unfortunately, adults are not the only ones prone to putting up with too much stress. Our children have more stress than we realize, their young lives are full of stress-inducing situations.
How stress builds up
Stress is our body’s response to adrenaline and cortisone in our bloodstream. These two neurotransmitters are released when we perceive ourselves in dangerous or threatening situations. Sometimes these situations are life threatening, such as when a wildfire breaks out near our home or we are in a car accident.
Other times (and more commonly) situations are situations that we would call stressful because we need to perform at a high level under public scrutiny. For example, the athlete in a track competition, the public speech you must make at the next team meeting, meeting the parents of your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time, going on a blind date …
Stress is useful in small doses. It builds, we act in a heightened state of consciousness, it goes away, and we feel exhausted but pleased with our performance. Problems start to arise when we don’t fully release stress. When we go from a stressful situation to a stressful situation and we do not have the explosive charge of energy that releases the repressed feelings created by the release of adrenaline and cortisone into the bloodstream.
We become irritable, nervous, restless. Not in bulk, but enough not to feel completely comfortable. It’s a vague “something’s not right” feeling, and most of us have crutches that we use to mask it. Things like coffee (in bulk), TV (shows we MUST watch …), computer games (I need to play for 3-4 hours to be able to relax), sex, alcohol, cigarettes, food … All of these and plus. The crutches we use when we feel stressed, overwhelmed or in bad weather …
The crutch masks the sensation for a moment, but it doesn’t really do anything to free it. When our crutch disappears, we feel the same as before and that is why we look for it again …
Over time, as more stress builds up (work, things we watch on television, things we hear on the radio or talk about on our coffee breaks, our home life situation, relationships with the spouse, children, bosses, family and friends) and us. Don’t release that stress, it becomes an ingrained habit. It affects our body posture, the way we hold ourselves; even when we are “relaxed”. Muscles tense and hold in tense anticipation of sustained effort; Except we don’t get on with the action.
Think about it for a moment. When you’re stressed, do you tense your shoulder muscles? Jaw clench? Tighten your lower back or glute muscles?
For most people, that is all they do. Tense your muscles and move on. The muscles lock in contracted positions and the pain we feel at first is ignored. Over time we become numb to stiffness and tension. Until, finally, we have a great catastrophe.
Where do we store stress?
As mentioned above, stress is mainly stored in our muscles. Most notably, lower back, mid back, and shoulders. How many people do you know who complain of back pain? Or stiff neck? If you are like me, you know a lot.
How does this affect us?
Have you ever noticed people who walk hunched over? His shoulders are collapsed and his chin is turned in … Do these people seem vibrant and open to learning? Not really. More often we would say that they were depressed, they had the weight of the world on their shoulders, they seemed sad, etc.
Stress does that to a person. The more stress we have endured and become numb, the more our body shows it. In the case of low back pain, we behave stiffly; we no longer have a full swing door. The hips are locked and our natural rhythm is restricted. We look tense!
So how does this relate to our children?
Have you ever noticed that your child comes home from school with a body posture similar to that described above? Their little shoulders are hunched, their head is tucked in, and their back almost seems to bulge … They shuffle in and head towards the refrigerator, television, or computer game … Ask them how their day went and you will get a word response as they disappear from view. Chances are, your little one is carrying a great deal of stress that you don’t know how to deal with.
Or, if your child comes home “in a bad mood,” comments from you or his siblings result in a defensive, angry, and grumpy response. They are like little kettles, always on the verge of “exploding”. You carefully walk around them, not sure what will trigger them.
So where does all this stress come from?
Stress in the learning environment and its impact on learning …
Stress for our children usually starts from the moment they wake up (and according to some experts even while they sleep). In most families, the television is one of the first electrical appliances to be turned on in the morning, so parents can “catch up on the news” …
Yet the images that appear on most morning shows are violent, depressing, terrifying, and gruesome. Instantly increase the body’s production of cortisone and adrenaline. because The human mind cannot differentiate between what is happening to them and what is happening to me when we are watching it on a television screen!
Most television producers know this. They know that the programs that increase our production of cortisone and adrenaline are the ones that we become addicted to. They provide us with our “solution”: the solution of greater awareness. That’s why shows need to get more violent, more dramatic, and terrifying to keep their audiences spellbound and high ratings.
So the stress starts before the day actually begins … Then there is the food you eat for breakfast. Most children eat a hurried meal of some “nutrient-enriched” cereal. The ingredients used to create these so-called healthy breakfasts are not only suspect, but most children have a hard time digesting wheat and dairy products.
This type of stress is called environmental stress – stress created by external stimuli in the environment.
Then our already stressed child arrives at the schoolyard. Most children with learning difficulties live in fear of being bullied by others. Fear increases when they approach the school door; stress increases when they imagine what might happen that day at school …
Class begins and our stressed student begins to struggle. Your learning profile comes into play, and depending on which senses are limited, your day continues to deteriorate. The teacher, their peers, and themselves feel frustrated and stressed.
Lunchtime is approaching. The natural reaction to stress is to move, explosively, forcefully, and with little regard for the well-being of others. Oh oh, here comes the teacher on duty at the playground! Run, duck, hide, they don’t catch you. Stress levels rise again.
Or even worse. Detention for lunch. There is no way out to release the stress that has been building up all morning. Forced to sit still with a teacher who has an expectation that you are going to be “bad” or “naughty”; after all you wouldn’t be in detention if you were one of the “good” students.
The afternoon session arrives. Yes, they are fun activities like sports, art or music. Except no one wants to choose you for their team, sit next to you, or share their art supplies because you’re bouncing off the walls with excess energy, energy caused by adrenaline and cortisone in your body. So it increases the stress even more when you realize that no one likes you and that the teacher is getting very frustrated with you and this afternoon’s behavior is likely to result in detention or some kind of punishment tomorrow …
Then it is the home that we go to. For some children there is a round of sports punishments and extracurricular activities that are meant to improve our chances of success in life. For others, it is the home of afternoon cartoons and children’s programs on television (which are full of violence, danger, excitement, and drama) or computer games that are again based on violence, competition, or violence. drama of some kind. It is usually accompanied by soft drinks, prepared foods such as chips, candies, chocolate, etc.
At some point, parents bring up the topic of homework, which reminds our stressed-out child of all the negative and stressful things that happened during the day. At this point, homework becomes a battlefield and parents often walk away defeated or force the problem that creates more stress and a feeling of ill will between parents and children.
