John was hooked on alcohol and prescription painkillers for some time. He successfully completed his addiction treatment and returned home. His wife Tracy loved him very much and supported him throughout his recovery. Although she had difficulty managing the home and children without John’s support, she was determined to make her marriage work when he returned.
After all, John was a different man and she knew she might have to start their relationship all over again. Here are some strategies Tracy adopted to make sure her marriage was back on track:
- It is important to treat marriage as a new relationship. That can only happen when one is willing to let go of the past and take a risk. One must forget about any marital problems that have existed before and work with the couple to rebuild what has been lost due to addiction.
- One should take it easy when it comes to intimacy. Without strengthening the affective bond, physical closeness will appear as a tedious task for the man / woman who has just recovered. It should be started gradually and only when instincts are natural and nothing is forced. It is important to first restore the foundation of the relationship.
- When the recovered spouse returns, they will surely feel insecure and out of place. It is the duty of the couple to reassure the person in recovery that he or she is still loved and respected in the same way that he or she was before battling addiction. The newly sober spouse needs to be assured that no matter how hard it gets, the treatment was worth taking.
- Another way to strengthen the marital bond is to start dating again. Both partners should make an effort to dress well and visit a place of mutual choice where they can spend some quality time. Walking hand-in-hand on a beach, stargazing in a park, or taking rides in an amusement park can sometimes be very therapeutic.
- It is important to forgive each other every day. Addiction is a chronic disorder and one or both may experience flashbacks of past habits and messed up days. However, such thoughts should not be given importance and the focus should be realigned on the present. Sometimes even relapse can occur despite all efforts. Getting through this phase is possible if both partners are patient and forgiving.
- It is important to understand that after a family has been through the ugly phase of addiction, it takes time to rebuild and it can take even longer for the sober partner to trust the newly sober partner. However, it’s fine. If the person in recovery makes any effort to fix things, then it is up to the other person whether or not to trust. It takes time and courage to restore faith and gradually nurture a relationship.
- Like addiction, recovery is also sometimes exhausting. For the sober person, it is important to have some personal time on a weekly basis. Spending time alone doing activities you love, such as knitting, reading, listening to relaxing music, or joining a hobby class, can be some of the ways you feel energized.
- The recovering spouse should be encouraged and reminded to continue attending aftercare plans. If possible, both of you should attend couples therapy programs to better understand each other and work for a better future.
Recovery from addiction is possible
Recovery is a lifelong process. One must patiently wait for romance and trust to build up in a relationship, which has been on a rough patch for a long time. But if self-help advice doesn’t work, seek professional help to put things in order and be happy again.
A good addiction treatment center offers holistic recovery plans to address the underlying problem and help the person lead a sober life. Detoxification is the main step in removing the effects of drugs by removing harmful chemicals and preparing the body for further treatment. Once the body is cleansed, various behavioral therapies and counseling are given over a period of time to overcome other problems.
