Sexuality is about enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover. We experience sensual, emotional and erotic pleasure. People of both sexes, regardless of their orientation, have different sexual appetites. Ideally, there is a combination of intellect, curiosity, imagination, a sense of humor, and a concern for hygiene.
There are three main categories of anatomy. The sexual organ is involved in orgasm and the internal genital organs in reproduction. Erogenous zones are related to sensual pleasure and can include any part of the body.
The male and female erogenous zones are similar in anatomical terms. They include the labia or the length of the penis, both sides of the labia or testicles, the entrance to the vagina or the base of the penis, the perineum, and the anus. For a man there is also the prostate gland next to the rectum. Both sexes can enjoy caresses or kisses on the mouth, nipples, earlobes, neck, back and feet with varying pleasure depending on the person.
When we masturbate, we can enjoy our orgasm, but we do not normally speak of sexual pleasure in the context of masturbation. Perhaps this is because men get their sexual satisfaction from a lover rather than being alone. Men enjoy erotic and genital stimuli with a lover who brings them to orgasm.
But women don’t respond with a lover. Making love provides only emotional and sensual pleasures for women. Therefore, they need to take more advantage of sensual pleasures and enjoy the emotional reward of pleasing a lover. Women only enjoy orgasm and therefore erotic pleasure, alone.
Some people enjoy a variety of sexual activities both alone and with a lover, while others limit themselves to having sex. Some people enjoy a variety of lovers, while others prefer to be loyal to one person. Many people (especially women) prefer to have sex only within long-term love relationships. Others (especially men) find that being attracted to others or sharing their partner with others keeps their sex life interesting for decades together.
The approach to marriage has traditionally been a social bond rather than a relationship based on sexual pleasure. Marriage and romance are associated with love more than sex itself. However, when a man marries a woman, he assumes that she will offer him regular sexual opportunities. Women can feel pressured to satisfy a man depending on their sexual desire. Passion and lust are associated with first encounters and illicit affairs more than with conjugal sex.
Men enjoy sex as a means of sexual liberation. Women can enjoy sex as an act of lovemaking that revolves around sensual pleasure. We can also enjoy other activities besides sexual intercourse, which are sometimes called foreplay and, more recently, sexual games. Some people consider these non-reproductive aspects of our sexuality to be more important than others.
Gay men and women cannot have sexual intercourse (which requires a man and a woman), so they are forced to perform more explicit genital stimulation. This more explicit approach to sexual pleasure tends to be taboo among the more conservative sectors of society. A woman needs a good relationship and a sense of fun to be motivated and to please a man. Many women do not enjoy the proactive role of offering explicit sexual pleasures.
Sexual pleasure can be difficult to achieve, especially for a younger woman. But she can enjoy the novelty of being desired, the ease of arousing a lover (especially a young man), and the satisfaction of a man’s orgasm.
As she ages, a woman’s body changes and she becomes more sensitive to sensual caresses. Your clitoral glans becomes a little less sensitive. An older woman may experience a greater erotic response if a man invests in exploring different pleasure techniques. Attitudes in society (driven primarily by women’s aversion to eroticism) can make others feel ashamed of their sexual thoughts and curiosity. There is nothing wrong with someone enjoying sexual pleasure as long as they have a sexually compliant partner.
After years together, there can be more trust and communication if a couple invests in discussing different approaches to pleasure. If a woman has an imaginative partner and is willing herself, a partner may enjoy exploring sex play beyond intercourse. An older man has more time to devote to sexual pleasure because his arousal is not as acute and does not prompt him to desire immediate sexual release as when he was younger.
… it’s time to talk about what most men could initiate more of, and that is non-sexual intimacy … It involves any kind of intimacy that doesn’t focus on sex. It can include making time to talk, hug, participate in fun activities together, etc. (Stephan Labossiere 2012)