When you’re cold and anxious to jump into the shower to spray the hot water on your icy skin, how long do you want to wait for the water to heat up? Not much, right? And as boys, we feel the same about sex. Who wants to wait to order the food, get the appetizer, and eat the main course? I know what I want and that’s dessert! Well, as we know, most women do not share those same views. While we can always light our own sexual fire as easily as lighting a match, it sometimes seems as difficult as rubbing two sticks to start our wife’s “fire.”
Make no mistake, women love sex as much as we do, but they aren’t always up for it in the blink of an eye. As a man, you must set the stage for lovemaking, create the right mood. Women love to feel guided during sex like salsa dancing and there is no easier way to do that than by mastering the art of touch. This is done by starting with a sensual massage and leading to a sexual massage. Relieve tension, relax it, and then delight your erogenous zones. It is similar to ice that melts into water in a few steps. The process is a huge change for you and her, and it is very enjoyable. Give first and you will receive. Enjoy pleasing your woman and you will both be rewarded for it.
I like to create a relaxed and romantic atmosphere for me and my girl so I use these 5 ingredients: instrumental music or sounds of nature, scented musk sticks (this is very aphrodisiac), dim lighting, a simple soft sheet I can allow the oil to drip and massage oil. Not all massage oils are the same. My two favorite brands are Kama Sutra (original) and Tantric (body spice). These oils taste good (for oral sex) and warm the skin easily. I prefer the tantric between the two as it stays slippery for a long time rather than drying faster. Tantric is harder to find in adult stores, so you’ll need to do a Google search online. I recently found it for under $ 10 for a decent sized bottle that will last a long time. Think of yourself as a chef, you can’t cook without proper preparation and chefs need the best ingredients.
Tell your woman that you are going to give her a great massage that will relieve all her stress and make her feel good. Then choose a couple of the following to do in the same session or just one of them.
3 massage tips to create the right mood for sex
1. Full body massage: rub some oil between your palms and have your lady lie face down on the bed. Start at the shoulders, upper back, and neck. The amount of pressure will depend on what you prefer. Use your thumbs to apply pressure and don’t stay in one place for too long. Move up and down your arms and finish with your hands, pressing between your fingers and then lowering your fingers towards the points. Alter the kneading with just your thumb and also with long downward strokes before lifting. Then start on your thighs one at a time down to your feet. Give a full foot massage. Once she’s relaxed, work on the occasional butt massage and a few kisses on erogenous areas like the earlobes and nape of the neck. Give her some light kisses and suck on the sides of her breasts. Tilt her slightly to move your nipples with your tongue. Gradually alter the massage and light brief touches on the erogenous zones. Remember that you want to make your way into sex with ease. Turn her face down and return to her legs and feet.
Once you start responding positively to sexual touches, start with your vagina. All girls like to be touched differently, but for now, vary your touches in different areas of their vagina. Don’t stay in one place too long and change gears. Generate excitement by not just concentrating on your clitoris. However, when you do, try to lightly massage your clitoris between your thumb, middle and index fingers. Use a motion similar to the one you use to rub the salt off your fingertips. Caress the sides of her vaginal walls between her outer and inner lips and the base. Gently rub your G-spot with the tip of your middle finger or your middle and index fingers. It is located on the inner side of the stomach, well above the clitoris. It is an area that feels smooth at first, then after a little rubbing it will wrinkle, similar to the texture of your scrotum. Not all women will find this pleasant, but many will tremble with excitement. At this point, she will either start engaging in the act with you or you could perform cunnilingus (oral sex with women) on her. This is a completely different topic on its own, but become a cunnilingus master and you’ll have her day dreaming of you while she’s at work.
2. Love messages: Sounds simple, maybe even silly, girls love this! These create a more playful atmosphere to allow you to focus on the moment and not on anything stressful in your life. Women often don’t like intense and serious foreplay at first. First have a little more fun while mixing the sensual and sexual cues. Write a message on his back and tell him to guess what it is. Keep messages short, like “You’re sexy.” Write flirty questions like “Where do you want a kiss?” Between messages go back to massage. You’ll know he’s having fun when he keeps asking you to rewrite the letters when he can’t decipher them. Work with gradual massages on the buttocks and legs that will lead to brief vaginal strokes. After about 3 messages, focus only on the massage and then direct it to a full vaginal massage. They will both be hot and upset at that point!
3. “Candy Back”: My own accidental invention. Like messages of love, the “candy back” is fun and achieves total relaxation. This is simply a back massage while pretending to create a dessert on your back. Describe baking a cake or cookies (don’t worry, you don’t really have to be a cook, remember, this is a massage). You mix the flour, add the sugar, knead the dough, push the dough all over the pan (its back) and add toppings and the ingredients you want. The sillier the ingredients, the more it will laugh, for example mustard, ketchup, etc. So you guessed it, you add the massages and kisses to her erogenous areas and voila.
Get your woman to show you how she likes to be touched. How much pressure he wants you to apply, it explores his body, both his genitals and all other areas. What has worked for other girls in the past may not work for your girl now. Keep your fingers and hands oiled at all times or your skin will become irritated. Learn to be good at massaging her and enjoy pleasing her first and you’ll be on your way to more enjoyable sex more often with less disappointment hearing those depressing words, “Sorry, but I’m not in the mood right now.”
