Do you have the confidence to speak?

There are times when we could kick ourselves, right? There was something we wanted to say, an opportunity to come together and contribute, but we hesitated and the moment passed. Irritatingly, someone else may have inadvertently offered our pearls of wisdom and received a great response. If only we had the confidence to speak!

At work Finding the confidence to speak can be a mixed blessing. If we put ourselves out there, with all that that implies, will we then be seen as someone who does not follow the line, a troublemaker or a know-it-all? Some people are afraid to express their opinions at work; Could there be retaliation, could it jeopardize your prospects for promotion, put a “black mark” next to your name? As an employer, it is important to provide an environment where staff feel safe to share ideas and concerns, knowing that they will be taken seriously.

Or, worse yet, could something said be perceived as stupid or inappropriate and result in being ridiculed? Meetings and presentations can be especially vulnerable situations for someone who does not have a lot of self-confidence. The prospect of standing up and having to speak out loud can be overwhelming.

In family and social settings many people prefer to avoid confrontation and keep quiet or follow things, choosing it as the safest option. And indeed, there are times when smiling and saying nothing is a preferred course of action. Not everything needs to be discussed or analyzed. But over time, not talking can change the dynamics of a relationship and affect its balance. Having open and respectful channels of communication can mean that nothing simmers or goes unsaid and everyone feels included and valued, able to speak their minds.

The potential downside is that talking in close relationships can have long-term implications. Things that are said cannot be stopped saying and can be taken out of context or used in future situations. Whether hurtful things are said deliberately or not, it can lead to ongoing discomfort. Or what about those moments when we speak offering a valid point of view or when we disagree and then find ourselves being labeled as difficult, uncomfortable and uncompromising.

Tips for finding the confidence to speak;

– When you have a meeting or presentation on the horizon improve your confidence by practicing speaking to a fake audience. Also, this is a worthwhile exercise when a difficult conversation is anticipated ahead. Identify your key points and say them out loud so that you are rehearsed, clear, and aware of the essence of what you want to say. Some people like to record themselves to see what they sound like and to be able to refine the authority with which they express themselves.

– Spend time on the things you do well. and increase your confidence. That way, if you are stuck in a difficult situation at home, school, or work, you have activities where you receive recognition, positive feedback, and satisfaction. Can sport, a hobby, or volunteering bring some happiness and joy to your life and improve your quality of life?

– Are there people in your life drains or radiators? Some people drain their confidence and joy in life. They only see the bad, they cannot be understanding, maybe they are jealous of you and your enthusiasm and drive. If you can’t avoid them, be sure to protect yourself from overexposure and minimize the time you spend in your company. Refuse to join them in negative or exhausting exchanges. Try to mix with people who radiate positive qualities like confidence, who share your perspective, who are equally committed to their dreams, and who encourage and support you in yours.

– From time to time challenge your point of view inviting other perspectives and discussing any contentious issues you have to deal with. There may be another side to the story. Be prepared to consider different points of view, constructive criticism, and comments. A clearer thought process can improve your confidence.

– In situations of disagreement, be master of how you feel. instead of blaming others. It gives you a more secure posture. “When this happens, I feel” is much more constructive and less antagonistic than “you make me feel,” which can make the other person feel attacked and defensive. Avoid using too many examples. They can be distracting and generate a carousel of explanations, justifications, and counterclaims.

– A neutral location is usually a good idea. when there is a difficult conversation. Keeps a discussion on track and prevents it from getting rowdy or out of control. You can stay calm and stick with what you have to say without losing confidence or worrying about the “beginning” of things.

– Sometimes a mediator can be helpful.But it has to be someone whom both parties respect. Yes, there are professional negotiators available, but sometimes a trusted friend, neighbor, colleague, or religious leader can do a good job and keep discussions relevant.

If trust issues crop up regularly, consider hypnotherapy to address the associated issues. Some people fear confrontation, want to please, are wary of upsetting others. Therapy can help you deal with any underlying factors, such as childhood influences or previous relationships, remedy underlying concerns, and allow you to move on, seeking ways to speak calmly, appropriately, and confidently.

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